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» Quiz: Are you retarded?
Are you retarded?
created by i fuck alf

If you don't know let me tell you.

1.) You're driving in your car... what sort of tunes do you listen to?
Radio sucks.
Anything I can sing along to! Brittany Spears, Christina, Coldplay... I love POP!!
What car?
Buttrock... rock me like a hurricane!!
Anything to kill my demonic thoughts....

2.) If your boyfriend/girlfriend dumped you, what would you do?
Well, Justin dumped Brittany so I guess I could survive too.
Play all sorts of sad music and write poetry.
Whoooya!!! Free at last!!!! Now I can run naked with the bears.
What boyfriend/girlfriend? I'm a virgin.
Read lots of Wiccan books and plot your 'witchy' ways to get them back.
Hire someone to kick their ass in a chicken suit.

3.) It's your birthday, what are you hoping to do?
Party like it's 1999!!!
Eat ice cream while watching Friends
Spend it with your bf/gf or some close friends... being silly/crazy/and just having a good time.
Shaking it at Shagnasty's.
Birthday? I have those?
Fuck you, it's my birthday and I can cry if I want to.

4.) Your guy/girl wants to rent a movie. He/she let's you choose. Which do you opt?
Something like Freddy got Fingered, American Pie, or Never been Kissed.
Bed of Roses, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, you know something romantic.
Action baby... 2 Fast 2 Furious.
You don't choose. You'd rather have sex.

5.) When seeking the opposite sex what do attracts you?
LOOKS!!! Tittahs, Trunk, Whatever!
What they're wearing.
I check to see if they have the same sparkle in their eye as I do.
I ask what they do for work. I then take out my calculator and add up how much a month I can get from them.
I engage in conversation. I don't find them attractive unless I think they're my type or interesting.

6.) Your bf/gf calls. You talk to them...
About all the gossip you learned today.
About how much you love them!
About your best friend.
About your goals/dreams/hopes.
About how many times you belched, farted, cursed, masturbated, or thought about them.

7.) If your girlfriend/boyfriend cheated on you what would you do?
Remember that chick who cut off her husband's dick and then threw it on the side of the highway?
I cry.
I go out and screw on them. How do you like me now partner?
I look at my Justin Timberlake/or Brittany Spears poster and ask god, why???
I punch my cat.

8.) What was the worst thing you ever did?
Nothing. I'm squeakly clean.
That one time that I drank a bottle of beer and then stuck it up my....
Put 409 in someone's shampoo then pissed in their conditioner. Their hair fell out. Bitch.
I don't know.
I told my grandma to fuck off.
I walked around outside nude. As a dare!

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