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» Quiz: Which Legend of Zelda character are you?

Which Legend of Zelda character are you?
created by Orpheus

We all know Legend of Zelda rocks da nuts... you know this. I know this. Who are you in the scheme of things? Take this quiz, and revel in the knowledge that you may be cooler than you thought... or don't take the quiz. Fine. I hate you. Go away.

1.) Let us go back, to the days of your youth. What were you like?
Ambitious and energetic, you found inventive ways to get to the cookies on top of the fridge.
Quiet, a little too smart for your own good. I bet you had Barbies. Yup, I'll just bet you did.
Bully-icious. I bet you got beat a lot for setting the family dog on fire or something.
Cheerful and obediant. You were the apple polisher in school.
You were the kid with the chemistry set, finding new and exotic ways to melt your sister's dolls.
Pretty average gossip-mongering little toad, with a pechant for... uh... four-square... and yummy orange wedges.
EATING PASTE OH SUCH PASTE I WILL EAT!!!

2.) Some hotshot's daughter has been kidnapped! Your course of action?
Quick, to the rescue! Oh, and don't forget your sub-par sword and plastic shield, cuz by God that's important.
Try to scream, but the gag stops you and the burlap bag you're in is itchy and unpleasant.
Deposit her in the nearest castle/stronghold/fortress/dungeon and wait for... oh, I don't know, this whole thing seems kind of fated, anyway.
Offer some kind of encouragement to the appointed rescuer.
Supply the hero with a few bottles of tasty red and green and maybe blue stuff you just happened to have on you.
Give some kind of fruitful advice to the hero... nothing really important, just little hints because you're a bit of a bastard.
Stay home. Hey, don't look at me like that. The Jeffersons will be coming on in a few.

3.) On your quest, you are confronted by your first big honkin' monster. He begs for disposal.
Smite him! Crush him beneath your booted heel and he shall snuff it!
Scream. A lot.
No sweat. You've got a million of these things at home.
Duck. The Hero can take this one.
What? Monster? There be no monsters here. You be tripping, my friend.
Run away and lock yourself in your precious little house... you wuss.
You rush upon him in a flurry of small pokes... but die in the process.
....

4.) In the castle/stronghold/fortress/dungeon thing, you just finished slaying a rather troublesome monster. You are immediately rewarded for your trouble with a big, tasty treasure box!
Pop that sucker open and let the victory music chime, baby!
You have trouble opening the lid. Stupid child safety locks...
Heeeeey! That's mine! Damnit! I knew I should have put my stuff away before company came!
Do a little dance. It's what you do.
You wonder if the treasure could be boiled down to base properties and smoked...
You don't make a move. You just soiled yourself in the fight, and are too afraid to move.
Is it seed? It's seed, isn't it. Or paste?

5.) You have reached a room in the castle/stronghold/fortress/dungeon that is heavily laced with intricate puzzles, and you can't open the door across the way without solving it.
Oh COME ON! Man... okay, now I wish I had stayed awake in geometry, jeezus....
Cry. Puzzles were not prerequisites for being delicate.
Cackle maniacally. It took you months to put that together... you must remember to write a thank you note to the K-Nex people.
Puzzles my ass! I am all knowing and all powerful! But, I'll just let the hero figure this one out. It'll build character.
You just give up, sit your butt down and pull out that bottle of Red-Potion-Schnapps you brought with you.
Cry. They didn't teach puzzles in Farming 101
Puzzles? I have no need of puzzles, I have friends to solve the puzzle for me!

6.) You have stumbled upon the lair of the kidnapper! How's your snazzy entrance doing?
You enter with a dramatic flourish of your kick-ass sword and shiny new shield you found along the way. All shall fear you and despair!
I can wiggle my leg a bit... being chained to the wall kind of sucks.
I swell with malignant indignation and laugh at the poor fools in my way...but dude has a piece of Shiny Triangle... ooo how I want...
I'll beat on the walls of this bottle and give my best scary face ever! YEARGH!!!
Offer him a bottle of bluey-kablooey as a peace offering. If denied, yes, I will run.
....you died long before this point. The Zoras are still eating your stupid ass.
You summon your minions to do your bidding. You'd just get lost in the fray.

7.) At last! The evil is vanquished, the princess is saved, and the Shiny Triangles are yours! What do you wish for?
Peace throughout all of Hyrule... I mean, Michigan...
Dunebuggies!!! Oh, I mean... peace and love throughout Hy--Michigan.
Well, I would have ended the foul destiny between myself and two others that keeps me coming back here to get my ass kicked.
GET ME OUT OF THIS FRIGGIN' BOTTLE!!! YOU KNOW I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC!!!
More red, green, and blue chu-chu things, cuz damn they make a tasty syrup, and so I can heinously overprice them.
I wanna go home, where the lovings is free and the underwear's clean.
Paste and seeds for all to enjoy!!! Party at Majora's house! Woot!

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ZENHEX.COM» Quiz: Which Legend of Zelda character are you?