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» Quiz: What shitty 80's hair band are you?
What shitty 80's hair band are you?
created by i fuck alf

Okay buttrockers, get your aqua net out...

1.) Your folks roll out of the house. You wait eagerly till their stationwagon clears the hood then...
Call up a blonde slut you met at Dairy Queen for some phone sex.
Play air guitar in the shower, if you know what I mean.
Dance around in your socks and underwear in front of the mirror... A can of glade is your microphone. (The crowd cheers)
You drum, man.
You shrill around the house in your best male-bitch singing voice.
You try and talk your 5 yr old neighbor into playing doctor.
You gyrate in tight jeans, stuff your underwear with a sock, whip out the aqua net and strike a pose.
You call up some friends for some huffing.
You run around the house destroying the place like it was a hotel screaming WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, BITCH!
You dress up in your mom's clothes and prance around in her underwear.

2.) You find a troll living under your porch...
You add it to your collection.
You ask it if it has a sister who wears coochie cutters and red lipstick.
You use it's head as a symbol.
You tell it all your problems.
You show it your one arm.
You ask it for a dollar.
You ask the troll if it thinks your pretty.
You wink at it.
You smoke it up, wear banadanas together and threaten to stiff it out of royalties if it ever fucks with you.
You eat it.

3.) Your grandma needs a ride to bingo, you say...
Drive her, then swing by one of your groupies place.
Offer to drive her, she's your cherry pie.
Tell Grandma to fuck off.
Say no, then check out her ass as she waddles away.
Barter. She gets a ride if you get one.
Cry out, Grandma no! I need more time to spend with my hair.
Give her the man slap. Don't ask again.
Smoke her up, wear bandanas together, then call her bitch a couple times. She forgot all about BINGO after that.
Drive her, then try on her clothes, perfume and underwear when she's gone.

4.) Your cat just had kittens...
Fucking A, weren't you just pregnant?
Fuck the cat, where's my Bitchin' slut who works at Dairy Queen?
Pet and coo over each one.
Give each lil' kitty a mullet and pedicure.
Make an omelet.
Squeeze in for some suckling.
Don't notice, you're too busy trying on jeans at the Salvation army.
Give a kitten to your girlfriend, and each groupy.
You puke. Last night you spent way too much time getting oral sex from nasty bitches to put up with this unholy abortion.

5.) Your favorite thing:
Jimmy Dean sausages.
Fire hosing your sweet El Camino.
Watching Friends.
Teasing your hair.
Going to TREK conventions.
Cybil Sheppard.
New Jersey.
Dirty sluts.
Trashing hotel rooms, trolls, Penthouse, Whiskey, donkeyshows in TJ.

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