| » Poem: Outside looking in |
Outside looking in
written by DeaD_DyinG_PaiN09:48 PM 4/6/05| Party, that word alone means drugs and alcohol. But I can’t stop her because she is already getting dressed. When she drinks she doesn’t know when enough is enough, I warn her about how dangerous it can get if she gets to drunk. But she doesn’t even hear these wise words because she is already in his car. One glass turns into nine more that later leads to the third bottle. She is letting her mouth run, she is so mean and hurtful she is making a best friend cry. She grabs her glass and goes out for a cigarette, a horny zipper notices her and she doesn’t even know her name. I appear in her mind and she screams to be let go but he is fired up and doesn’t want to stop. She awakes cold and bloody on the side of this empty lifeless house where it all started in the first place. “wow what a night” I’m losing her and all I want to do is help her back ion to the right path. I think she is trying to kill her depression away but in the process she is only killing herself from the inside out. She is threaten suicide now. She cuts her wrist but its not deep enough and she can’t handle the pain. Another party, her first thought “alcohol”, she starts out slowly then she is downing them in seconds. Oh she is dizzy now. I sit back and laugh at her as she grabs air trying to keep balance. Oh god he is here go Leeann run out the back. But she is so drunk she is tripping and he grabs her. Screams about how stupid she is, that is all you hear until the silence is broken with a faint hollow smack. She covers it up with loads of make up “I ran into a wall while at a party” oh yeah keep telling yourself that Lee. She hates herself now, oh how can I help? Remember Patrick he wouldn’t like you like this. I made it worse she is crying now. her head is ringing now, her world is crashing down at her feet. All she wants is to be healed. I give her my comfort but she is screaming for me to go away. She sits on her bed tearful frown, grabs her CD’s and puts on her angry music, search’s in her secret box for her razor A.K.A. the enemy. Left alone with deep scars and bleeding wounds she asks her mom for serious help and gets pills oh great a new addiction. She dumps asshole and gets away for awhile and she already has a new boyfriend. He is nice, smart, and funny but she feels so alone so cold. She fighting this beast and its winning. She goes out to that terrible house, another night of drunken and feeling down. Her cell phone rings, its her boyfriend she forgot about there date at his mom’s house and all you hear is “please give me another chance” but I know he isn’t going to. She is drinking more and awakes in a bath tub naked and a blank is all she can remember. She is drowning in the water and I can’t help her fix this. The rumors begin to spread and she is enraged now, she breaks a few noses and now she is staring at an angry management teacher. This darkness doesn’t seem to stop. Writings of sadness and hollowness unbearable awful pain. The only question is hiding away in her secret box. She cries for hours before she realizes that she is loved and needs to stay, she smiles again and seems to be less and less fucked up maybe this can last. How long can she fight this sickness? I don’t really know because I’m on the outside looking in… |
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| » Comments / Feedback | by Khaotic (4-6-2005 - 09:49 PM)
by (guest) (4-6-2005 - 09:58 PM)
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